Monday, December 23, 2013

Apparently, I'm a Chronophiliac

As far back as I can remember, I have been interested in older men. Let me say this: I don’t have daddy issues, this is my preference. I don’t mean men 30 years older than me, but about 8, 10, 12, up to even 15 years older than me. It’s always been something about them that I just love!

It all started when I was just a little girl…

I was probably about 6 or 7 when it started… There was a guy who attended my church and I was totally and completely in love with this man. His name was Bro. Ralph. I remember in testimony service, I would say “Please pray for me, my family and everyone else I know, and Bro. Ralph.” Everyone thought it was so adorable, but I from the bottom of my heart meant it every single time I said it. Mind you, this man had kids older than me and of course at 6 or 7 I had no business being in love with anyone, but you get the picture. Older men have always been appealing to me.

Now obviously, nothing is ever 100%, so what I am about to talk about doesn't apply to ALL guys slightly older but for the sake of the blog, it is for all of the older men I would like to refer to. I asked a few women who also are interested in older men and the consensus is consistent. There are a few major reasons why we love older men.

Maturity. Everyone knows that women mature at a (much) faster rate than men. When I date an older man I feel that our maturity level is more comparable than a guy that is my age. I have always related better with people older than myself. I consider myself to be very mature :)

Stability. I am not looking for a sugar daddy in the least bit, but I definitely don’t want to be in a position where I am forced to take care of a man. I think it is reasonable of me to expect to have a man that is able to take care of me even though I don’t need him to. I am drawn to a man who has his stuff together to say the least. I don’t have the time to wait for a man to catch up to where I am talking about what they’re thinking about doing with their future.

Focus and goal oriented. An older guy is already reaching those goals he set for himself when he was in his early 20’s and his perspective is different because of his life experience. Something about this is so attractive to me!! A man with a plan is gets no better! Well it does get better, but you get the point! I think the most fetching thing I have ever heard is a guy I was dating was on a conference call. When he was talking business I literally started to picture our future lol!

Consistency and consideration. The games are over at this point for a man a few years older. He doesn’t have to do the “wait three days” rule or any other foolery that guys in their 20’s think is okay to do. If he says he’s going to do something, he’s going to do it. If he can’t do it, he will be straight forward with you. He will be considerate of your feelings and think a little more before he says or does anything because he has be through it enough to know how a woman will react. He cares about how something will affect you, and he will want your best interest to be at the forefront of his mind. Young guys don’t think about the outcome and say or do whatever they feel not thinking about what the result will be, and then think that an “I’m sorry” will fix it. At least with an older guy, gifts or a fancy dinner comes with the apology! You can cry infront of them, and instead of thinking you're a basketcase they'll be the shoulder you need to cry on and understand whatever emotion you are feeling. Their automatic response won't be "are you on your period or something?" And even if it is the reason, an older guy will know to shower you with chocolates and heating pads! He has a bit more sense...

More practical. I can’t stand someone who is cheap, but I do appreciate how an older guy plans for the future and buys what is affordable, not just because it’s popular. I think being practical and splurging everyone in awhile is the best way to go. Younger guys don’t really care about the rainy day and are enjoying the financially sunny days. I want someone who is better prepared with a few umbrellas when the storm comes.

And lastly…

More handsome! I don’t know why but the older men get the better looking they get! I think that Morris Chestnut is a perfect example. I saw an episode of the Cosby Show with him in it… he looked awful! Oh but time has brought about a change in his life! I jokingly say that there is one thing I hate about Black men, and it’s that they get better with age! I’m 26 and I have my wrinkle creams and under eye creams trying to keep it together and these men are looking flawless! And this is men of any race. For the majority, their skin does not crack, or if it does its still hot!

I have several friends who have thought I was crazy dating guys a few years older than me… until they try it… and they say “why didn’t I do this sooner?” I mean, of course it’s not for everyone but I recommend any woman to try it at least once. I often hear that “we won’t have anything in common”… that’s a possibility with ANY man regardless of age. You’ll probably get along a lot better than you anticipated and have much more to talk about than you expected! It's just a few extra years they've lived ladies. IT IS NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL!!! I am sure that I will have a few women thanking me after this blog and probably some men too!

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