I took a little break last week from writing any blogs because... It was my birthday on October 22nd !! Woo hoo!! I was on vacation celebrating! Many people are shy about their birthdays and revealing how old they are. I am proud to say that I am not 26 years old! And everyone always tells me "oh you're still a baby", but I know quite a few women in my own age group who are embarassed to tell how old they are. I will touch on this in a second but first I want to talk about why I am glad to be 26.
When my mother was pregnant with me, I was in Fetal Distress. Fetal distress for those of you who don't know is a condition where the unborn baby isn't doing so well and is having complications. I remember my mom telling me how she was worried because I didn't really move for a few days inside of her. She told my godmother (who is a nurse) and she said to go to the doctor! I was having a hard time breathing on my own and my mom was placed on bed rest for a few months prior to my arrival. I'm so glad to be 26 years old because there was a possibility I wouldn't have made it to 1 day old without the grace of God. And I'm sure the world would be a sadder place without me ;) lol.
Now, why I don't mind telling people my age is because everyday is a blessing from God, and I'm glad to say He has been blessing me for decades now. Everyone should want to scream from the rooftops how long God has been blessing them! Those of you who feel you are old, don't! It's an amazing blessing to live as long as we are now. It feels good to know God is not through with me yet and He has plans for my future. When my day comes to depart this earth I'll be ready to go onto glory, but until then, I'm going to live and not worry about silly things like my age. Your age is just how many years I've been on this planet, not who I am. I feel the same as I did as a teenager, just a LOT wiser!! And I have so much more to learn. The teenagers in my life always tell me I'm getting old, and I tell them as my great grandmother always used to say "it's alright, just keep living." Not everyone in this world will be as fortunate as you to get to your age, so be grateful. I knew too many friends, classmates and friends who died at a young age and didn't get to attend prom, go to college, get married, or start a family.
The other day I was getting ready to walk across the street, thinking about somethings that I had been praying about and petitioning with God about and I was saying I felt like He forgot about me, then I heard a voice remind me if He forgot about me, He would have let me get hit by a car while I was crossing the street, I would have been dead already if He forgot about me because His protection would no be around me. I was 25 at the time, and obviously He still has a plan for me and I'm glad about it!
Happy birthday to me!
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Man Strangles Girlfriend with Dreadlock Part 2
I saw something that inspired me to do a part 2 to my last blog.
Last night I was in the City (San Francisco for those who don’t know) and those streets are cray! Yes I meant to say “cray”. We were in North Beach on a Ladies Night (my sister La Pria, godsister April and I) and were looking for parking to go to Cobb’s Comedy Club to see my new favorite comedian Ellis Rodriguez (if you haven’t heard about him please check him out on YouTube, he is hilarious and totally worthy of your time checking out his videos!!!). Those of you who are familiar with the City, you know parking is INSANE and we were literally driving around this 3 block radius for almost 30 minutes looking for a parking spot. So we were at a red light and there was a girl walking in the cross walk ahead of us. I let her go and checked both ways. I started moving into traffic when my dramatic sister La Pria yells “WHITNEY, WATCH OUT!” I was like “huh?” then I turn to look at her in the passenger seat and I see this guy who started walking across the street and he like stumbles onto the hood of my car. Let me make it clear, I DID NOT hit him, he walked into my car!! I’m mouthing to him “OH MY GOD, I am sooo sorry!!” then I roll down my window and start apologizing and he said it’s okay. La Pria and April both were like “I think he’s drunk” as he staggered in a zig zag pattern across the street. Then we all looked at the corner he was walking to and realized the girl who had walked past prior to this guy was with him!!!
How was this her boo, and she cared so little about him and his safety that she risked his life because of probably an argument or disagreement? Now, as I have already stated, if he hit her then yes, walk away. But, if it was just a disagreement, no matter how angry you are, you should NEVER put the person you love’s life in danger. I love this cartoon picture I saw before of an elderly couple sitting on a bench. They each were on separate sides and the man was turned facing out and is reaching back holding an umbrella over his wife in the rain. Even though he was angry with her, he still protected her and loved her. This is how it should be. I would never compromise the safety of the man I love because I was mad.
If I was this chick, I would have told him “Let me make this clear to you…I’m gonna make sure I get you home, but after that I’m back to being mad!”
Every bad situation in a relationship doesn’t call for a break up or a falling out. I hope that guy never forgets how she allowed him to wander into an extremely busy street and almost get hit by a car. She allowed him to get as drunk as he was obviously, and we all know you can’t listen to or get mad at a drunken person. They have no idea what they are saying or doing 96% of the time and have no recollection.
Good or bad, when you are committed to a person, you are there 100%. Relationships get rocky and if every minor infraction you are denying your love and opting for hate your relationship and your sanity will never survive the big issues in life. Show love in all situations good or bad is essential (again unless you are getting beaten or abused in other ways by your significant other) because it will make your life a lot easier, especially if you plan on staying with that person. Constant arguing is deteriorating to a relationship and a person’s sanity.
And on top of that, don’t do things to purposely agitate your partner. If they continually tell you what you are doing is hurting them, makes them upset, or any other negative emotion STOP DOING IT. If you are inconsiderate of others, you have no business in a relationship.
Last night I was in the City (San Francisco for those who don’t know) and those streets are cray! Yes I meant to say “cray”. We were in North Beach on a Ladies Night (my sister La Pria, godsister April and I) and were looking for parking to go to Cobb’s Comedy Club to see my new favorite comedian Ellis Rodriguez (if you haven’t heard about him please check him out on YouTube, he is hilarious and totally worthy of your time checking out his videos!!!). Those of you who are familiar with the City, you know parking is INSANE and we were literally driving around this 3 block radius for almost 30 minutes looking for a parking spot. So we were at a red light and there was a girl walking in the cross walk ahead of us. I let her go and checked both ways. I started moving into traffic when my dramatic sister La Pria yells “WHITNEY, WATCH OUT!” I was like “huh?” then I turn to look at her in the passenger seat and I see this guy who started walking across the street and he like stumbles onto the hood of my car. Let me make it clear, I DID NOT hit him, he walked into my car!! I’m mouthing to him “OH MY GOD, I am sooo sorry!!” then I roll down my window and start apologizing and he said it’s okay. La Pria and April both were like “I think he’s drunk” as he staggered in a zig zag pattern across the street. Then we all looked at the corner he was walking to and realized the girl who had walked past prior to this guy was with him!!!
How was this her boo, and she cared so little about him and his safety that she risked his life because of probably an argument or disagreement? Now, as I have already stated, if he hit her then yes, walk away. But, if it was just a disagreement, no matter how angry you are, you should NEVER put the person you love’s life in danger. I love this cartoon picture I saw before of an elderly couple sitting on a bench. They each were on separate sides and the man was turned facing out and is reaching back holding an umbrella over his wife in the rain. Even though he was angry with her, he still protected her and loved her. This is how it should be. I would never compromise the safety of the man I love because I was mad.
If I was this chick, I would have told him “Let me make this clear to you…I’m gonna make sure I get you home, but after that I’m back to being mad!”
Every bad situation in a relationship doesn’t call for a break up or a falling out. I hope that guy never forgets how she allowed him to wander into an extremely busy street and almost get hit by a car. She allowed him to get as drunk as he was obviously, and we all know you can’t listen to or get mad at a drunken person. They have no idea what they are saying or doing 96% of the time and have no recollection.
Good or bad, when you are committed to a person, you are there 100%. Relationships get rocky and if every minor infraction you are denying your love and opting for hate your relationship and your sanity will never survive the big issues in life. Show love in all situations good or bad is essential (again unless you are getting beaten or abused in other ways by your significant other) because it will make your life a lot easier, especially if you plan on staying with that person. Constant arguing is deteriorating to a relationship and a person’s sanity.
And on top of that, don’t do things to purposely agitate your partner. If they continually tell you what you are doing is hurting them, makes them upset, or any other negative emotion STOP DOING IT. If you are inconsiderate of others, you have no business in a relationship.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Man Strangles Girlfriend with Dreadlock
Recently I read an article of a crime that was committed earlier this year. A man apparently was arrested for strangling his girlfriend… with his dreadlocks!!!
I have heard of some pretty interesting items being used as a weapon, but this definitely takes the cake! MSN has an article of strange weapons including things such as Justin Bieber dolls, a dead dog, an alligator, peanut butter sandwich, but I feel a man had to be very desperate when he turns to his hair to assist him in his assault. What this says to me is that he wanted to make sure HE was the one to hurt her, not any other normal weapon. He wanted her total sum of her pain to only come from his hand (or any other part of his body that is attached to him). He had a personal problem with her and wanted to let her know every part of his body, even his hair, hated her and wanted to hurt her. My question is what made him so desperate to hurt his girlfriend?
Crazy stories like this make me reflect on guys I’ve dated or guys that have liked me. You really never have a full understanding of a person because you aren’t that person and you can’t see into their thoughts. He might be saying “I love you” and mean “I’m going to dig your eyeballs out with a spoon”. You just never know! It worries me that he tried to literally kill this woman whom he should have been loving and protective of her, but instead he became her worst nightmare. This guy was so desperate to hurt her he used anything to do it, I’m just glad it was his hair that he got to first and not a knife or a gun. Not only was he charged with strangulation, he was charged with kidnapping, assault, and menacing. I also wonder, were there any signs?
People get angry, I get it. We argue and fuss, but when a relationship gets abusive, physically, mentally, or verbally, it’s time to reevaluate your relationship. Love doesn’t hurt. “Love is patient, love is kind…it is not easily angered… Love does not delight in evil… It always protects” (1 Cor 13:4-8) The Bible says it best! No matter how angry I am, or how much I want to put my hands on a person, love will always keep me from acting on it (that is also because I am in my right mind!). When a person does not have control over their own actions and self, why does it seem they try to control someone else?
Recently on Facebook I read a poem someone posted that had been shared several times over. This poem was about a woman who was in an abusive relationship and kept making excuses for her boyfriend. He even assaulter her while she was pregnant. At the end of the poem the woman died at the hands of her abuser a.k.a. her lover. This poem was sad to say the least but what was really heartbreaking were the comments below the posting. There were soooo many women remarking with comments like “I’m lucky I got away” “I’m glad I got smart” “I consider myself one of the lucky ones” and many related comments divulging that these women too were victims of domestic violence from their significant others. It hurt me to my core how many women were making expressions of their horrible past. It made me wonder just how many women are there in the world who have gone through a similar experience and what in the world makes a man feel comfortable abusing a woman or anybody for that matter?
Unfortunately, domestic abuse is rarely reported. It is actually the most under reported crime there is so there are the statistics are not not accurately recorded.
Thank the good Lord above I have never been in a situation like this, but I am inclined to believe that there usually is some type of warning your significant other ain’t all right! When building a relationship and investing in each other, you begin to see tendencies, habits, reactions, and above all else your gut tells you when something isn’t okay. But the saying “love is blind” is completely correct, but love shouldn’t be deaf. I wish more people would listen to that voice inside of them, but instead too many people cover their ears and say “blah blah blah blah I’m not listening, I’m not listening!” when in fact they should be sensitive to those red flags. Now, I am not one to necessarily judge a book by it’s cover, but I must admit looking at the picture of the guy that was arrested, I could even tell something wasn’t right! We deny what we know is truth, and we create an imaginary world where those red flags actually turn into something positive. Like saying “my man loves me so much, he even follows me to work to make sure I get there safely.” No sugar, he’s stalking you because he doesn’t trust you and thinks you are either meeting up with another guy, or that you are fooling around with a co-worker. Accept the facts for what they are. Being in an abusive or controlling relationship is unhealthy for everyone involved, and it ends badly so so often.
Women have a responsibility for their own safety in these situations. If a woman survives a first attack, she needs to take a stance for herself and walk away. I believe that almost anything can be worked through in a relationship, but physical abuse is never acceptable and is a complete deal breaker. Making an excuse for a man’s actions does not make sense to anyone you try to convince. It’s never okay, no one with good sense will understand.
What also gets me is a person who won’t take sound advice from a friend. I don’t mean someone you barely know, but a friend that is genuine and knows you, loves you, wants everything good for you, who rides for you and has every good intention for you. If you can’t see the signs for yourself, they can. If you don’t warn your friend, you aren’t a good friend! I am so glad we live in a time of Google and background checks. Don’t be afraid of checking up on the person you’re dating. You have every right to know about a shady past or lack thereof. If they want to build a relationship on trust and if they have no bad intentions they will have nothing to hide. When he hits you (not literally hit lol) with the vague answers RED FLAG! Or the “why do you want to know”, that is a RED FLAG! Catch him in a lie, RED FLAG. If you have any questionable red flags with a person you are dating, let me know so we can figure this out!
I have heard of some pretty interesting items being used as a weapon, but this definitely takes the cake! MSN has an article of strange weapons including things such as Justin Bieber dolls, a dead dog, an alligator, peanut butter sandwich, but I feel a man had to be very desperate when he turns to his hair to assist him in his assault. What this says to me is that he wanted to make sure HE was the one to hurt her, not any other normal weapon. He wanted her total sum of her pain to only come from his hand (or any other part of his body that is attached to him). He had a personal problem with her and wanted to let her know every part of his body, even his hair, hated her and wanted to hurt her. My question is what made him so desperate to hurt his girlfriend?
Crazy stories like this make me reflect on guys I’ve dated or guys that have liked me. You really never have a full understanding of a person because you aren’t that person and you can’t see into their thoughts. He might be saying “I love you” and mean “I’m going to dig your eyeballs out with a spoon”. You just never know! It worries me that he tried to literally kill this woman whom he should have been loving and protective of her, but instead he became her worst nightmare. This guy was so desperate to hurt her he used anything to do it, I’m just glad it was his hair that he got to first and not a knife or a gun. Not only was he charged with strangulation, he was charged with kidnapping, assault, and menacing. I also wonder, were there any signs?
People get angry, I get it. We argue and fuss, but when a relationship gets abusive, physically, mentally, or verbally, it’s time to reevaluate your relationship. Love doesn’t hurt. “Love is patient, love is kind…it is not easily angered… Love does not delight in evil… It always protects” (1 Cor 13:4-8) The Bible says it best! No matter how angry I am, or how much I want to put my hands on a person, love will always keep me from acting on it (that is also because I am in my right mind!). When a person does not have control over their own actions and self, why does it seem they try to control someone else?
Recently on Facebook I read a poem someone posted that had been shared several times over. This poem was about a woman who was in an abusive relationship and kept making excuses for her boyfriend. He even assaulter her while she was pregnant. At the end of the poem the woman died at the hands of her abuser a.k.a. her lover. This poem was sad to say the least but what was really heartbreaking were the comments below the posting. There were soooo many women remarking with comments like “I’m lucky I got away” “I’m glad I got smart” “I consider myself one of the lucky ones” and many related comments divulging that these women too were victims of domestic violence from their significant others. It hurt me to my core how many women were making expressions of their horrible past. It made me wonder just how many women are there in the world who have gone through a similar experience and what in the world makes a man feel comfortable abusing a woman or anybody for that matter?
Unfortunately, domestic abuse is rarely reported. It is actually the most under reported crime there is so there are the statistics are not not accurately recorded.
Thank the good Lord above I have never been in a situation like this, but I am inclined to believe that there usually is some type of warning your significant other ain’t all right! When building a relationship and investing in each other, you begin to see tendencies, habits, reactions, and above all else your gut tells you when something isn’t okay. But the saying “love is blind” is completely correct, but love shouldn’t be deaf. I wish more people would listen to that voice inside of them, but instead too many people cover their ears and say “blah blah blah blah I’m not listening, I’m not listening!” when in fact they should be sensitive to those red flags. Now, I am not one to necessarily judge a book by it’s cover, but I must admit looking at the picture of the guy that was arrested, I could even tell something wasn’t right! We deny what we know is truth, and we create an imaginary world where those red flags actually turn into something positive. Like saying “my man loves me so much, he even follows me to work to make sure I get there safely.” No sugar, he’s stalking you because he doesn’t trust you and thinks you are either meeting up with another guy, or that you are fooling around with a co-worker. Accept the facts for what they are. Being in an abusive or controlling relationship is unhealthy for everyone involved, and it ends badly so so often.
Women have a responsibility for their own safety in these situations. If a woman survives a first attack, she needs to take a stance for herself and walk away. I believe that almost anything can be worked through in a relationship, but physical abuse is never acceptable and is a complete deal breaker. Making an excuse for a man’s actions does not make sense to anyone you try to convince. It’s never okay, no one with good sense will understand.
What also gets me is a person who won’t take sound advice from a friend. I don’t mean someone you barely know, but a friend that is genuine and knows you, loves you, wants everything good for you, who rides for you and has every good intention for you. If you can’t see the signs for yourself, they can. If you don’t warn your friend, you aren’t a good friend! I am so glad we live in a time of Google and background checks. Don’t be afraid of checking up on the person you’re dating. You have every right to know about a shady past or lack thereof. If they want to build a relationship on trust and if they have no bad intentions they will have nothing to hide. When he hits you (not literally hit lol) with the vague answers RED FLAG! Or the “why do you want to know”, that is a RED FLAG! Catch him in a lie, RED FLAG. If you have any questionable red flags with a person you are dating, let me know so we can figure this out!
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
A woman NOT of her word
One of my biggest pet peeves is people who don’t follow through.
On last evening, I went to Target and saw a familiar face. It was a guy who had come to visit my church with his girlfriend probably about a year ago. It made me think about the worship service and sort of struck a nerve.
His girlfriend during the service was such a spectacle. Now, please don’t think I am judging because I’m not. I will be completely factual without (or with minimum lol) opinion from me. The entire service she was very loudly making exclamations like:
“yes Lord”
“that’s right, come on”
“Hallelujah!”
“PREACH!”
“Glory”
“What?!”
“uh huh!!”
“Yes God!”
And I mean the complete service. She was very boisterous and distracting to say the least. But, every time the Pastor (like in all churches) started to quote a scripture and the church helped finish it, she was completely silent. That worried me. People will talk a great game, but can’t follow through in their actions. For members of any faith, it is extremely important to know what you believe and why and know your religious book because how can you practice it if you don’t know it? What is even worse is I know the Pastor and church that she had come from, and I know he is a thorough teacher of the gospel, so what was she doing while at his church? But this isn’t what this blog is about today, so I digress with my story… So after service she was supa turnt up talking to the Pastor about what she wants to do in the church, she wanted to join the choir, thoughts of membership with the church, if I remember correctly we were going to an appreciation service THAT DAY at another church and she wanted to sing in the choir… THAT DAY! She was very convincing in her approach… We never saw her again.
Maybe it is tremendously foolish and naïve of me, but I am a firm believer that a person’s word is their bond. If I can’t trust what you say, how are we suppose to have a friendship (or association) based on truth and trust? Some people don’t see it as a big deal, but I definitely do. I think of myself as a very reliable person. I am always, ALWAYS there for my friends and family. Anything I have they can have it or I’ll get them one just like it lol. I was relying on a young man one day to be entertainment at a community event I was on the planning committee for. We met up talked about the event and he agreed to it. I kept trying to play the numbers game with him but he wouldn’t give me his fee for events. This should have been a sign for me. So for two weeks I was calling him and texting him trying to contact him and he was nowhere to be found. I definitely learned my lesson with him. I really think he was just interested in me and when I was only talking business he backed off. He should be added to my creepy guy list.
When people are unreliable and undependable it makes me question much more than just their word. I take people not following through on their commitments very personal. I feel that it speaks to how a person feels about me. If you respected me, you wouldn’t treat me any type of way. And, you are in no way considerate of my time or my life even. May seen extreme, but I have had years to think about this. I don’t want people playing with my time or my money, and if you are unreliable you are probably playing with both. And I don’t need that!!
No one wants a friend that they had to bet odds on whether or not they are going to follow through. Don’t just talk a good game, be a good game. One of my favorite saying is “you can make your mouth say anything”, so what is important is what you do. Your actions need to be a consistent reflection of your words! If you are one of those unreliable people, now you know why people aren’t calling you as much anymore to hang out or to do something with them. It’s because you probably flaked several times on them and they see who you really are! The truth hurts, but self reflection and change is essential for growth. Love ya!
On last evening, I went to Target and saw a familiar face. It was a guy who had come to visit my church with his girlfriend probably about a year ago. It made me think about the worship service and sort of struck a nerve.
His girlfriend during the service was such a spectacle. Now, please don’t think I am judging because I’m not. I will be completely factual without (or with minimum lol) opinion from me. The entire service she was very loudly making exclamations like:
“yes Lord”
“that’s right, come on”
“Hallelujah!”
“PREACH!”
“Glory”
“What?!”
“uh huh!!”
“Yes God!”
And I mean the complete service. She was very boisterous and distracting to say the least. But, every time the Pastor (like in all churches) started to quote a scripture and the church helped finish it, she was completely silent. That worried me. People will talk a great game, but can’t follow through in their actions. For members of any faith, it is extremely important to know what you believe and why and know your religious book because how can you practice it if you don’t know it? What is even worse is I know the Pastor and church that she had come from, and I know he is a thorough teacher of the gospel, so what was she doing while at his church? But this isn’t what this blog is about today, so I digress with my story… So after service she was supa turnt up talking to the Pastor about what she wants to do in the church, she wanted to join the choir, thoughts of membership with the church, if I remember correctly we were going to an appreciation service THAT DAY at another church and she wanted to sing in the choir… THAT DAY! She was very convincing in her approach… We never saw her again.
Maybe it is tremendously foolish and naïve of me, but I am a firm believer that a person’s word is their bond. If I can’t trust what you say, how are we suppose to have a friendship (or association) based on truth and trust? Some people don’t see it as a big deal, but I definitely do. I think of myself as a very reliable person. I am always, ALWAYS there for my friends and family. Anything I have they can have it or I’ll get them one just like it lol. I was relying on a young man one day to be entertainment at a community event I was on the planning committee for. We met up talked about the event and he agreed to it. I kept trying to play the numbers game with him but he wouldn’t give me his fee for events. This should have been a sign for me. So for two weeks I was calling him and texting him trying to contact him and he was nowhere to be found. I definitely learned my lesson with him. I really think he was just interested in me and when I was only talking business he backed off. He should be added to my creepy guy list.
When people are unreliable and undependable it makes me question much more than just their word. I take people not following through on their commitments very personal. I feel that it speaks to how a person feels about me. If you respected me, you wouldn’t treat me any type of way. And, you are in no way considerate of my time or my life even. May seen extreme, but I have had years to think about this. I don’t want people playing with my time or my money, and if you are unreliable you are probably playing with both. And I don’t need that!!
No one wants a friend that they had to bet odds on whether or not they are going to follow through. Don’t just talk a good game, be a good game. One of my favorite saying is “you can make your mouth say anything”, so what is important is what you do. Your actions need to be a consistent reflection of your words! If you are one of those unreliable people, now you know why people aren’t calling you as much anymore to hang out or to do something with them. It’s because you probably flaked several times on them and they see who you really are! The truth hurts, but self reflection and change is essential for growth. Love ya!
Thursday, October 3, 2013
What pretty girls have to put up with, SMH!
Being pretty comes at a cost. Attention that I receive it great, but sometime its get a little strange.
Recent events that have transpired has made me think I am a creepy guy magnet. But let me start from the beginning. I remember what I think was my first creepy guy experience. I was 14 years old. It was a Saturday afternoon, and I was with my mom, my aunt, and I believe all of my 3 siblings. We had just come from a Saturday church service in Stockton so we were all dressed up. I always looked older than my age. This guy kept walking past me and I mean seriously staring, I mean like burning a hole in my forehead staring. This guy obviously was old enough to be my uncle if not my dad. He finally decides to approach me, but he doesn’t say anything he sticks his hand out to give me a piece of paper that had his phone number on it. I replied saying “I’m only 14”. He paused and thought then said “I’m 17”, and then reaches his hand out further for me to take his phone number. I don’t remember if I took the number and tossed it or if I still didn’t take it, but either way I did not reciprocate any desire to get to know him better. Then I remember a time when I was 17 years old and I was walking how from school. This older gentleman started talking to me. By older I mean elderly! Just thinking he wanted to converse, I engaged in the conversation. Then out of nowhere he said “so can I take you out sometime” my response was “I’m only 17”. Shocked the man walked away. Mind you, I was wearing a backpack and it was about 4pm, and we were right down the street from a high school, you could have put two and two together.
What happened this week truly supported the idea that I put off some vibe that attracts weird men. I was at a Starbucks on Sunday morning before church. The line was relatively long and I was thinking about what I would order when I heard a voice say “excuse me miss”. I turned and acknowledge the man. He says “do you know what time it is?” I didn’t have a watch or my cell phone and told him “I don’t but I know it’s after 10am”. He thanked me and continued on to say “are you from around here?” now let me interject; this man looked disheveled and scatterbrained. His tone was kind of cynical and eyes a little sketchy. I told him “yes I’m from Menlo Park” and turned back around. I tried my best to close the conversation. This line seemed to take forever!! I was in front of the pastry case when he sees my necklace and says “is that two arrows crossing?” I was just over trying to ignore him at this point so I told him it is but I’m unsure what it means. Knowing now at this point he wasn’t going to leave me alone, so I asked him if he was there for the arts and crafts festival that annually occurs downtown Menlo Park. He told me no he was there going to the Presbyterian Church down the street. Finally the barista took my order (thank goodness!) and the guy is helped by the counter barista. He got a pastry and sat down right by the front door (UGH!!!). While he wasn’t looking I ran out the back door.
Then yesterday (I know right??) a guy at the gas station (pumping gas waaaaay on the other side) was yelling out to me asking how my day was. I tried to ignore him. I turned my back didn’t make eye contact but this man was persistent. He was walking around the passenger side of his car (for no reason either, his gas tank was on the driver’s side) and then stopped and continued to try to spark a conversation with me. He waited until I turned around to have to remove the pump to try to get eye contact, or some type of acknowledgment. He walked over to me asking me if I’m familiar with the area. I told him I was. He asked me if there were any soul food restaurants around (was it because I’m Black???). I told him to go to CreoLa. I should have just said no but I didn’t want to lie. He started asking 11million billion questions about it. I just told him I’ve never been but my co-workers told me good things. He was like “oh okay, I’m about to go there right now” and started grinning like the Koolaid man, I guess assuming I would take that as an invite. At this point I was talking out the nozzle attempting to leave. He then starts asking me about TGI’s, yes he said TGI’s, asking about their drinks. I told him I don’t drink and then I walked away. If I didn’t need gas I would have left long before the conversation got that far.
After reflecting on those two incidents this week I began to be a tad nostalgic reminiscing on other creepy men. I had a guy at a community event hawking me for what seemed like an eternity. Out of nowhere he comes behind me and whispers in my ear “I seentchu peekin…” I turned around and looked at him with a look of horror and disgust. One guy that used to stay in my neighbor hood (I’m assuming because I saw him around but NEVER ACTUALLY MET HIM) came to my door one night and asked me was my boyfriend home. This was not only creepy but terrifying. A charter bus driver recently came to my job to pick up a group that was volunteering in our warehouse. I told him I’d let his group know he was there he replied “yeah… unless you wanna entertain me”. My response was “let me hurry and get your group!” A man that works at my church’s warming shelter recently sent a text message to my mom telling her her daughter (me) is the prettiest girl at the church. This man is almost my mom’s age, is in and out of jail and has in intermittent drug problem… oh and bad teeth! Oh yes!!! I sometimes volunteer at City Team Ministries in Oakland, and I was serving dinner one night. When I was leaving this homeless man said “that dinner sho was good!” I responded I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Then he said “maybe I can taste you…” I told him “ummm…NO, you can’t!!” SMH!! I forgot about Mario… this guy… creepy. I tried to leave out names but hey, whatever lol. My cousin introduced us, and we were “talking” for about a week or so when he came over for a BBQ at my old apartment with a bunch of friends, actually mostly his friends. Somehow he felt I was ignoring him (HELLO I’m entertaining an event at my own place!) and stormed off and was pouting on the steps and literally crying. I wanted him to leave, but everyone wanted me to talk to him to calm him down. He told me he tries to do everything he can to show me he cares about me and he really likes me. All I could think in my head is this man is crazy, I don’t even know his birthday or his middle name and I met him a week ago! Needless to say that was the end of our… “talking” I guess or whatever it was. And lastly, the man who everything he texted ended in “lol”. It would be like “how was your day lol?” “I just got off of work lol” “wanna go to SF lol?” “My grandma just died lol”… okay the last one wasn’t real, but you get the gist. I ignored him for days and finally responded to a text, he told me “I thought you were ignoring me or something lol”. That was our last correspondence. Unfortunately, this is only A FEW of the things that have happened to me!
This blog is to tell guys being creepy is not okay! We (ladies) talk about it and laugh about it behind your backs and we don’t find it attractive. If you question whether or not you are creepy, you probably are so fix it! Attractive women have to put up with enough and your weird antics and habits scare us… no they freak us out. Be appropriate! Sorry to hurt any feelings but I’m just being honest.
Recent events that have transpired has made me think I am a creepy guy magnet. But let me start from the beginning. I remember what I think was my first creepy guy experience. I was 14 years old. It was a Saturday afternoon, and I was with my mom, my aunt, and I believe all of my 3 siblings. We had just come from a Saturday church service in Stockton so we were all dressed up. I always looked older than my age. This guy kept walking past me and I mean seriously staring, I mean like burning a hole in my forehead staring. This guy obviously was old enough to be my uncle if not my dad. He finally decides to approach me, but he doesn’t say anything he sticks his hand out to give me a piece of paper that had his phone number on it. I replied saying “I’m only 14”. He paused and thought then said “I’m 17”, and then reaches his hand out further for me to take his phone number. I don’t remember if I took the number and tossed it or if I still didn’t take it, but either way I did not reciprocate any desire to get to know him better. Then I remember a time when I was 17 years old and I was walking how from school. This older gentleman started talking to me. By older I mean elderly! Just thinking he wanted to converse, I engaged in the conversation. Then out of nowhere he said “so can I take you out sometime” my response was “I’m only 17”. Shocked the man walked away. Mind you, I was wearing a backpack and it was about 4pm, and we were right down the street from a high school, you could have put two and two together.
What happened this week truly supported the idea that I put off some vibe that attracts weird men. I was at a Starbucks on Sunday morning before church. The line was relatively long and I was thinking about what I would order when I heard a voice say “excuse me miss”. I turned and acknowledge the man. He says “do you know what time it is?” I didn’t have a watch or my cell phone and told him “I don’t but I know it’s after 10am”. He thanked me and continued on to say “are you from around here?” now let me interject; this man looked disheveled and scatterbrained. His tone was kind of cynical and eyes a little sketchy. I told him “yes I’m from Menlo Park” and turned back around. I tried my best to close the conversation. This line seemed to take forever!! I was in front of the pastry case when he sees my necklace and says “is that two arrows crossing?” I was just over trying to ignore him at this point so I told him it is but I’m unsure what it means. Knowing now at this point he wasn’t going to leave me alone, so I asked him if he was there for the arts and crafts festival that annually occurs downtown Menlo Park. He told me no he was there going to the Presbyterian Church down the street. Finally the barista took my order (thank goodness!) and the guy is helped by the counter barista. He got a pastry and sat down right by the front door (UGH!!!). While he wasn’t looking I ran out the back door.
Then yesterday (I know right??) a guy at the gas station (pumping gas waaaaay on the other side) was yelling out to me asking how my day was. I tried to ignore him. I turned my back didn’t make eye contact but this man was persistent. He was walking around the passenger side of his car (for no reason either, his gas tank was on the driver’s side) and then stopped and continued to try to spark a conversation with me. He waited until I turned around to have to remove the pump to try to get eye contact, or some type of acknowledgment. He walked over to me asking me if I’m familiar with the area. I told him I was. He asked me if there were any soul food restaurants around (was it because I’m Black???). I told him to go to CreoLa. I should have just said no but I didn’t want to lie. He started asking 11million billion questions about it. I just told him I’ve never been but my co-workers told me good things. He was like “oh okay, I’m about to go there right now” and started grinning like the Koolaid man, I guess assuming I would take that as an invite. At this point I was talking out the nozzle attempting to leave. He then starts asking me about TGI’s, yes he said TGI’s, asking about their drinks. I told him I don’t drink and then I walked away. If I didn’t need gas I would have left long before the conversation got that far.
After reflecting on those two incidents this week I began to be a tad nostalgic reminiscing on other creepy men. I had a guy at a community event hawking me for what seemed like an eternity. Out of nowhere he comes behind me and whispers in my ear “I seentchu peekin…” I turned around and looked at him with a look of horror and disgust. One guy that used to stay in my neighbor hood (I’m assuming because I saw him around but NEVER ACTUALLY MET HIM) came to my door one night and asked me was my boyfriend home. This was not only creepy but terrifying. A charter bus driver recently came to my job to pick up a group that was volunteering in our warehouse. I told him I’d let his group know he was there he replied “yeah… unless you wanna entertain me”. My response was “let me hurry and get your group!” A man that works at my church’s warming shelter recently sent a text message to my mom telling her her daughter (me) is the prettiest girl at the church. This man is almost my mom’s age, is in and out of jail and has in intermittent drug problem… oh and bad teeth! Oh yes!!! I sometimes volunteer at City Team Ministries in Oakland, and I was serving dinner one night. When I was leaving this homeless man said “that dinner sho was good!” I responded I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Then he said “maybe I can taste you…” I told him “ummm…NO, you can’t!!” SMH!! I forgot about Mario… this guy… creepy. I tried to leave out names but hey, whatever lol. My cousin introduced us, and we were “talking” for about a week or so when he came over for a BBQ at my old apartment with a bunch of friends, actually mostly his friends. Somehow he felt I was ignoring him (HELLO I’m entertaining an event at my own place!) and stormed off and was pouting on the steps and literally crying. I wanted him to leave, but everyone wanted me to talk to him to calm him down. He told me he tries to do everything he can to show me he cares about me and he really likes me. All I could think in my head is this man is crazy, I don’t even know his birthday or his middle name and I met him a week ago! Needless to say that was the end of our… “talking” I guess or whatever it was. And lastly, the man who everything he texted ended in “lol”. It would be like “how was your day lol?” “I just got off of work lol” “wanna go to SF lol?” “My grandma just died lol”… okay the last one wasn’t real, but you get the gist. I ignored him for days and finally responded to a text, he told me “I thought you were ignoring me or something lol”. That was our last correspondence. Unfortunately, this is only A FEW of the things that have happened to me!
This blog is to tell guys being creepy is not okay! We (ladies) talk about it and laugh about it behind your backs and we don’t find it attractive. If you question whether or not you are creepy, you probably are so fix it! Attractive women have to put up with enough and your weird antics and habits scare us… no they freak us out. Be appropriate! Sorry to hurt any feelings but I’m just being honest.
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