Beating kids on video???

The world is ever changing, and methods of discipline are not exempt from recent social movements. There is a current trend arising of “viral discipline” that has taken the internet by storm. Parents, guardians, aunts and uncles who have caught their children indulging in web-related sins are now creating videos that are to call their kids on the carpet for the embarrassing acts they have committed.

The first video I ever saw using this method was an uncle who had caught his nephew using profane language on a social media website, claiming he was in a gang, being disrespectful and basically a bunch of inappropriate stuff. All the things he was saying was a “front”, not really reflecting him as a person, his morals, and his upbringing.

In an act of correction and discipline, the uncle videotaped his nephew, making him confess that all he was saying online were lies, then hitting him with a belt repeatedly as a “rod of correction”. That was probably a year ago I saw the video. Recently, the boy was killed—shot in front of his own home. Allegedly the boy was teased and ridiculed by what his uncle had done. What he was doing though was living a life of lies, wanting to be a “gangsta” and (I'm assuming) wanted respect.

Is what the uncle did the reason why this boy is dead today? No. What the uncle did was try to get his nephew on the right track. Did he do it in an appropriate way? This is where the argument starts for me.

Growing up, my parents had rules and taught me right from wrong. When I would mess up, or do something to someone, my mom would make me go and apologize to that person and let them know I know better than to misbehave. Luckily, this was something I really only had to do with my siblings because I was raised right and I didn't act out with others or in front of others. But in this instance, if I were to offend my viral audience, then yes, it is appropriate for the child to go and apologize to the people they offended with their comments and actions. But—my parents would never FORCE me to make a video and try to humiliate me.

Discipline should be done in private, not publically so everyone can mock and laugh at your child! I would never put my child in a position to hurt their ego or self-esteem. Two wrongs definitely don’t make a right in this situation. I have seen videos of young girls crying on camera while someone is coaching them on what to say in their apology video. Will that really change a child, or just make them more resentful and rebel even more??
It probably won’t change them. Kids act out usually because of something else that’s going on, and when they can’t talk about it or don’t feel comfortable it comes out in other things they do.

I’m not saying to never discipline a child, but when their actions are completely out of character, sitting down and talking might make a world of difference. If a parent’s first reaction is always to leap down their child’s throat, nothing will ever get resolved. My mother was the disciplinarian out of my two parents, and I must say she 99% of the time gave us a chance to come clean and express ourselves before anything else. Parents also can’t get mad about something they have never taught their child. If you never told your child lying is bad, you can’t get mad when they lie. Parents can’t rely on kids to just know better or thinking their school will teach them about life lessons.

I’m not saying that all kids are just acting out, some kids are just bad. But I’m a Christian and a strong believer that if you “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”(Proverbs 22:6 NKJV). Because my mother made sure to keep me in church, both my parents taught me right from wrong, invested in me, even put me in counseling when I had life issues, they don’t have to worry about me acting out now that I am almost 26.

One thing my mom faithfully told me is “don’t go out there embarrassing me”. It seems like a very self-centered statement, but it is accurate. When you see a teenager or child acting out in public or on social media the first thing you think is “why does her parent let her act like that? She acts like she ain’t got no good sense!!” I know that was a very country statement, but bare with me my family is from the South! The way a child acts is a reflection of how they have been raised and what the parent and parenting style is like. If a 7 year old is cussing and fighting, trust and believe this is either something the parent is doing, or something the parent is allowing the child to be exposed to. At that age, you really only know what you have been shown.

Again, my opinion is only my view point and it doesn’t apply to every situation. Children spend the majority of their day at school and with friend’s influences and TV when they are home it’s impossible to shield them from all the negative things that are being fed to them. But if you have done what is appropriate as a parent, you will never have to make a viral video of your children making a public apology because you would have already done everything to prevent it from ever happening.

I've never been hungry

I’ve never been hungry. I mean, I’ve been hungry, but I’ve never be in a position that I am not able to satisfy my hunger with a nourishing meal. To say the least, I have been financially secure my entire life. Living in the Silicon Valley, many of us are unaware of the reality that is in plain view. The worst part is, there are many more that are starving and living below poverty levels than we think. In some cases, it’s our own neighbor. 

 Living expenses are higher in the Silicon Valley than the majority of the nation, even more than New York City. It is so difficult for many people to be able to make enough to cover rent and utilities that often food expenses are neglected, and many families are going hungry. In the San Mateo and Santa Clara counties alone, more than ten percent are on the receiving end of assistance from the local food bank. What is even more unfortunate is that the majority of the people served are either children or elderly. One out of every five children do not have food to eat for dinner over the weekend because they only eat at home where they receive free lunches. 

 When we think of poverty and hunger, we picture a child in a third world country covered in flies and showing the signs of malnutrition. But hunger cannot always be seen, and is a lot closer than we would expect, and the needs are becoming greater. People in our own neighborhood are going to sleep starving while we are splurging on fancy dinners and throwing away left overs. So if you’re thinking “I want to do something, but there’s nothing I can possibly do” then you are wrong. There are many ways you can help: 

 Volunteer—give your time to your local food bank assisting with food distributions and warehouse sorting. 

 Host a food drive— get your friends together and encourage others to give as well. Make it fun by turning it into a competition, remember the more to gather, the more people you will feed! 

 Donate—money can go a long way. Every dollar donated to Second Harvest Food Bank equals two meals!

Why blog??

Why do people blog? What is the purpose?? Is there any reason for it. If you have to ask this question, then you obviously have no opinion and your life is probably really boring. No offense... I appreciate blogging, especially because print writing is a dying industry. We live in a world now where we depend on internet and technology. Everything has become viral. Dating, school, even doctor's appointments are all on the web now. The internet and blogging has opened up so many career opportunities for people and also given them an outlet to express what they are feeling. I blog because I have a voice, an opinion, and good advice that desperately needs to be heard (or technically read). I hope that not only one day will I entertain and positively influence people, but maybe even brighten a person's day by the thing that makes me happy. Writing.

Not Funny.

To what expense is a person willing to make a joke? Apparently, Sheryl Underwood is willing to desecrate all that is natural with black hair. On her TV show “The Talk”, a conversation was brought up about Heidi Klum and her keepsakes from her children. She said she keeps everything, even their hair which she referred to as an afro. Underwood’s response was (paraphrased) why would you keep nappy, beady, nasty afro hair? Wow. I am half Black and half Italian, but for arguments sake, I will be speaking from my Black side today-- shame on Sheryl for saying a comment like this. For centuries Black people have struggled because society has made them feel as worthless, inferior, and as if we were animals. We are finally back to a place in time where our differences are seen as beautiful. Natural hair is divine, and it’s unique. No other culture has hair like us besides maybe Afro Latinos. For her to publically make a comment like this shows her true character. Whether she was attempting to make a joke because she is a comedian (which I doubt) or if this is really how she feels, either way this is horrible for her image and branding. You want to turn a whole race against you and not support you Sheryl?? I am not a parent, but I am an aunty, so I will be speaking from this perspective. Children are innocent, and are looking for their identity at the age that Heidi’s sons are. For her to call THEIR hair nasty, is disgusting and I’m embarrassed for the ignorant and inconsiderate comment Sheryl made. This may cause Heidi’s children to have a permanent complex for a lifetime. Every child should feel like they are wonderful, and hurtful comments like this will make them feel inadequate, constantly seeking approval from people that don’t matter, and never satisfied with who they are. It seems like no big deal now, but when he starts perming his hair and bleaching his skin then we all will see the affects of this single comment. I haven’t been able to find any proof of Underwood having children. I’m assuming now that this is why she has not decided to have children of her own because obviously she would have a problem with who her own children were. Hair has always been a struggle for African Americans. Yes, Black people have nice hair, yes their hair can GROW, yes we do straighten it, but yes our natural curls are BEAUTIFUL. We can never beat the negative stigmas associated with African Americans because so many people are allowing the negativity to be glorified. A comment like this is also why I hate when people tell me I have beautiful hair and they want it. My hair is beautiful, but so is everyone else’s hair as well. It really makes me mad, but it also makes me sad to see a person doesn’t see the beauty inside themselves. If everyone could look past social standards of beauty and see the amazing creations God has created. People like Sheryl are the reason why so people are self loathers, hating themselves and the people in their own nationality or culture, and she probably is one her own self. I hate to see insecure people put their own insecurities on other people. She’s making it okay also for others to feel comfortable to ridicule Black people’s hair just because it’s different. If she wants to be funny, she should make jokes at her own expense, not Heidi for being a good mother and loving even every stand of hair on her children’s head or the children for having curly hair. Maybe Sheryl needs to learn to love her own self.

I like the color green.