A secret wedding

I know everyone opened up this blog assuming it was me! No!! lol, I didn't get married secretly but I know someone who did...

This past weekend, one of my co-workers got married. It wasn't anything big, they weren't even dressed up. Her daughter performed the ceremony in their backyard and the grandkids took pictures with their camera phones. Talk about low key! None of us even knew about it until one of her friend’s who volunteers at my job spilled the beans the Monday after! Now let me say this early my co-worker has been with this man for like over 20 years, and they live together. So marriage to her was not a big deal because to her they were already “basically” married. But she typically tells all about everything and anything that happens because we are basically family in our office. Several stories she’s told me I’ve heard at least 5 times so she definitely isn’t a shy gal! When I found out, I immediately sent out an email to the staff telling them what happened and arranged a small “bridal shower/wedding reception” for her. And of course it was a surprise. So we pulled our money together and I went to shopping!! I spent every last dime of the money and then some to make sure that we could give her the nicest surprise party on such short notice. Some of my co-workers also brought in prepared dishes and I got the cake and even purchased one of those wedding toppers with the bride and groom for it. We were scurrying around trying to decorate our conference room with streamers, confetti, cute party favors shaped like wedding dresses and tuxedos, balloons (that went flat ) flowers and center pieces to make sure it was beautiful. We also were convinced that she knew what was going on because she normally is completely nosey! People from our other offices even came by to help celebrate. While I was running back and forth trying to get everything together, one of my co-workers asked me “why are you so in to this? You’re going all out!” In my mind I feel like I hadn’t done enough, and I replied “I’m not going all out for this, you think I am?” and his response was “yes!” Regardless, I was beyond happy to put it together even if I did seem to be going overboard! It couldn’t help me self!

Finally, it was time to bring the bride in! I got everyone in the conference room and went to tell her that there was something I needed her to check in there so she followed me and when I opened the door everyone started yelling congratulations to her! And what I was hoping for happened; she started to cry. One thing that I always try to do is make people cry… tears of joy of course! I wanted her to feel like a bride and when I asked her did she feel like that she said she did. I’m not trying to give myself props for doing this, but I’m really glad I did because I found some very devastating new out in regards to why they finally decided to tie the knot.

A few months ago, my co-worker’s husband got sick. He only had about 40% of his lungs working before he even got sick. He ended up being hospitalized and found out he had pneumonia. After this he needed to use an oxygen tank when he was released. This part I knew what I didn’t know is the next part… He already has emphysema… and there is big change he has lung cancer. So, the two wanted to go ahead and get married in case anything may happen.
The purpose of this blog could be so many different things, like reasons not to smoke, or why people have secret weddings, how to put together a party in 3 days, is marriage just a piece of paper, but I want to take it a different direction.

When I found out about what she was going through, I was so happy that I did do all that I could to make it special for her. She is probably going through all types of hurt and pain right now and having a party that was all about her and all for her really touched her heart. It’s possible that she may be losing the love of her life soon. That is a dreadful thought in itself, but for it to be a reality it about 1,000,000 times worse. And I had no idea that she was dealing with any of this.

So, I understand now why she wasn’t so excited at first and I also understand why something inside of me kept pushing me to do as much as I could. It was a lot of work crammed into a very short amount of time but it was totally worth it to do something nice for someone who was going through so much in her life right now. At that very moment, she needed that love and support we were giving her and we didn't even know it. She needed a smile and a hug more than we could have ever imagined. It seems it came right on time.

One of the sayings I heard from my mom growing up is “a heap see but a few know”. You never really know what’s going on with someone just from looking on the outside. We all have our own burdens to bear and we all should be sensitive to that. You can’t expect people to react to things a certain type of way just because you do. That’s unrealistic if we are all supposed to be individuals at the same time!

So, the purpose of this blog… when you feel something inside of you pushing you to do something, do it. There is some reason why you can’t shake that feeling; someone is depending on you to be the one to show them you care about them when they probably feel at that moment no one cares at all what they are going through. I feel that this is something God is really wearing on me, to show love to others in ways I have never before. Don’t doubt those sensations you have to do something whether it is for someone else or for yourself. There is a reason for it even if you don’t understand. When you don’t know, God knows. Don’t deny what you feel in the pit of your stomach. So hug somebody, show some compassion and leniancy, tell them you love them even when there is no relevant reason in your eyes. Who knows, it might actually save someone’s life someday.

Also, anyone who reads this and is a believer, please pray for them, I would really appreciate it.

I don't speak Italian!!!

The United States is such a culturally diverse country. Many of the population have mixed backgrounds. My dad is Italian and my mom is Black. I cannot possibly count or estimate the amount of times people have asked me if I speak Italian. I’ve had people look at me with a glare that is a mixture between horror and disgust when I say no. Not only that, people have natural assumptions about who I am because of being Italian that are completely false. Is it that people in the US have lost touch with our cultures, are we expected to stay true to our roots, or do we let go of our cultures and adapt to Americanized lifestyles?

This is something that will probably eventually have a part 2, but this is what I have on my mind for now...

My dad is not from Italy. My grandparents aren’t even from Italy. Their parents were but I never met any of them. For some reason, there is this idea that if you are Italian though, that naturally you speak the language, had an Italian flag tattooed on your bicep, crucifix around your neck, have a first communion party, and eat pasta with every meal and at snack time. It’s like people find themselves disappointed in me as well as my family with not keeping me connected with my roots because I don’t carry the same traditions as my people! But I don’t see too many other nationalities doing the same here in the U.S.!!! I have never heard someone be asked if they speak Portuguese or French or Dutch or Greek just because of where their ancestors come from so what makes it so different with Italians? I think that all that goes on on the East Coast with the guidos and guidettes of Jersey Shore and all the other shows, people assume it’s applicable across the country! People ask me things like “do you say gravy or sauce?” “where is your family from in Italy?” “are you Sicilian” “do you know any mob members?” “is your family apart of the mafia?” It gets relatively funny. But here is the thing: most people lose touch with their culture living in America. I would naively want to say its unintentional, but what did all of those immigrants entering in this country at Ellis Island think they were going to do? Bring Italy to America and seize the land? No! People come here for individualism, self identity, freedom, and new beginnings. I think having connections to my roots is very important, but I do not make my own pasta from scratch and I have no intention to, ever. But I do love pasta, and bread with olive oil :) If I were Latina, I’d understand speaking Spanish fluently because there are so many people who speak Spanish especially in California. But if I learned Italian, who am I going to speak with? Myself? I would rather master the English language, and live the life of an American.

No one ever asks me do I hold fast to any of the traditions from my African roots. Maybe people figure that is a sensitive subject since I have not the slightest idea of what part in Africa from which my family came. It pretty crazy, something about being Italian makes people think I’m from the Old Country!

A culture isn’t necessarily based on race of country of origin. A culture can be based on age, or cities, or religion or any other aspect that can identify you with a group of people. So don’t think that just because a person doesn’t identify with the “culture” you expect, doesn’t mean they aren’t apart of any culture! I am apart of the mixed, middle child, left handed, ex-cheerleader, creative minded, sandwich loving, awesome hair, Jesus loving culture, and I am proud of it!

P.S. I don't get offended or angered by this, so if you asked me this in the past, no worries! :)

Women on the Move for God

This is the message I spoke at the 1st Saturday Women's Meeting this past weekend. It is written towards women since it was a women meeting, but it is for men as well! Enjoy!


A woman on the move for God
1 Cor 15:1-2, 58-- Moreover, brethren, I declare to you the gospel which I preached to you, which also you received and in which you stand, 2 by which also you are saved, if you hold fast that word which I preached to you—unless you believed in vain.
58: Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.

Who here has ever been under attack by the enemy?
Have you ever noticed how the devil works? He waits until you are going about your day, thinking everything if fine and dandy enjoying life and BOOOOM!! Sideswiped! See saints, the devil is waiting, lurking, looking for the opportunity where you aren’t paying attention to knock you off balance!

I know this is about being on the move for God, but sometimes being on the move for God means being unmovable! Let me say that again…sometimes being on the move for God means being unmovable!

When we take on the responsibility of a Christian, we have to take a stance against everything opposing our faith, and to stand firmly in God when the devil attacks!

Jeremiah 17:7-8--“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
And whose hope is the LORD.
8 For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters,
Which spreads out its roots by the river,
And will not fear when heat comes;
But its leaf will be green,
And will not be anxious in the year of drought,
Nor will cease from yielding fruit.

Being planted, rooted, and unmovable in God leads to a blessed life! But let’s read a few scriptures before this to see what happens when you are moved by the devil and allow him to knock you off balance…

Jeremiah 17:5-6--“Cursed is the man who trusts in man
And makes flesh his strength,
Whose heart departs from the LORD.
6 For he shall be like a shrub in the desert,
And shall not see when good comes,
But shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness,
In a salt land which is not inhabited.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to do ANYTHING that will cause me to be cursed by God! Our strength to move forward is not in flesh, but is in God!

Let me tell you about a woman who decided not to keep moving …

Story of Lot’s wife found in Genesis 18-19—The city of Sodom was defiled and sinful. God was going to destroy it but Abraham pleaded with God not to destroy the righteous with the wicked. God decided to give Lot (Abraham’s nephew) and his family a way out because of their faith. They were unfortunately the only ones righteous in the city. Lot was instructed him to take his family and leave and to not look back. But this silly woman, Lot’s wife looked back at what she used to have, what she used to be, the friends she used to have and God turned her into a pillar of salt!

Every time you think about looking back, read Luke 17:32 and remember Lot’s wife!
Who in life wants to move backwards? Raise your hand, show me! See, no one wants to go back. I love being grown and making it to this point in life. It would be like moving back into my mama’s house, having her change me and bathe me. I’ve grown, I’ve moved forward.
Who wants to get a demotion on their job? Walk in one day a project manager, walk out the intern! When you’re a project manager, you want to move up to CFO, COO, CEO, president of the company you don’t want to go back!

You’ve worked so hard to get where you are. You’ve prayed and sacrificed, cried yourself to sleep at night and pushed your way. You cannot turn around now! You’ve worked too hard!
Phil 3:13-- Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before

The more you turn back, the longer to will take you to move forward. Who has ever gotten lost driving before? Isn’t that the worst ever? Giving up is like having directions on how to get somewhere, but you throw away the directions, go back to the beginning and start all over! Don’t do that to yourself, people of God!

All those things in your past should be a distant memory, not a dream or desire for your future! Throw away your rose colored glasses, the past wasn’t that pretty! When God says it’s time to move on, it’s time to MOVE ON!!!

There is nothing in your past to look forward to! It’s not worth compromising your future.
Phil 3:14-- I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
Forward is our goal, HEAVEN is our goal. We have to remember there IS a reward after all the hard work!

Everywhere you go, women of God, people should stop and stare saying “look at her on the mooove!” The worst thing possible for you to hear is “she has so much potential!”
You want to know why people turn back? Because going back on a familiar path is easy. Sinning is easy, being stubborn is easy, being LAZY is easy, not reading your bible is easy, and forgetting to pray is easy. Moving forward in God is hard!!!.... IF you’re doing it all alone… But guess what? God never said that you are in this alone!

When the winds of life start to blowing, trying to knock you down and you feel like you can’t move and stop you grab your bible to block the winds! Grab the saints of God to help push you, strengthening you against the winds! And above all, call on the name of God, stretch forth your hand to Him so He can pull you forward!

Isaiah 41:10--Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Matthew 28:20—(teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and) lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the world

Women of God, move forward with God, don’t let anyone or anything stand in your way!